Him (track #3)

Album   Marker and Parker
Artist   Marc Zegans
Written by   Marc Zegans
Length   2:26
Mood Poignant, Aching
Theme Alienation in a Hospital


I remember the burn of the needle, the weight of the drip, the heat of the morphine, running up my arm from my wrist,
the scratch of my skin, the rising red welts, the swelling inside my artery, drawing pain on the path where relief should have gone.
"He's got a morphine allergy.”  “Switch him?” “I guess we'd better ask him first."  

I am him, here between the steel bedrails, in the flimsy blue johnny--"Put one on backward, then one facing front", 
like it matters when they're snaking a tube up my cock, through my bladder to my kidney.  It’s for their relief, 
their modesty, not mine.  It’s for their comfort, their professional distance, to robe me weakly, to diminish my presence
so they may talk about "him" without disturbing their visual field,  so they may talk about “him” without considering for a moment
that he has ears.

I am him, senses sharpened--pain does that you know--watching as they in Dockers and Mephistos and french blue shirts
and J Crew ties and short white coats, casual professionals, confer, charts in hand, beepers on hip, photo IDs clipped 
or hung from their necks, signifying belonging, and distance from their patients, who are ID'd by tape on the wrist.

I am him, bruised and stented, dry-mouthed and cold.